Wedding Attire

Attire for the Bride

BUSTLING: A bustling is the padding in one's slip used to puff out the dress. In Victorian days, this puff was usually only in the back. A bustle involves looping up the train (with loops or hook and eyes on the dress) so that it is off the floor and attached to the top of the skirt portion of the dress. Make sure bustle fasteners are very secure. An alternative to the bustle is a wrist attachment which is used to keep the train up and off of the ground. Another alternative is to get a wedding gown with a detachable train. This eliminates the extra weight of the train which can feel heavy. If you're making your own dress/bustle, a good reference is Singer's book Sewing for Special Occasions (it has detailed instructions for all the little details in making a bridal gown, including 2 types of bustling).

CRINOLINES AND HOOP SKIRTS: Should I wear a crinoline or hoop skirt underneath my wedding dress? Which one you chose depends a lot on your dress and personal taste. You must consider how much pouf you need/want and how heavy the skirt material is. Hoops tend to do a good job with heavier, fuller skirts because they are more rigid. However, the hoops may show through your skirt or stand out in such a way that it looks funny. You could of course wear a crinoline over the hoop slip to alleviate this problem, although this can result in a LOT of layers. If you go with a crinoline, choose one that's lined inside so you don't have itchy tulle on your legs. Hang it upside down to keep it full prior the your wedding day, or lay it on the ground with the layers of tulle spread out (in a circle). If you plan on making your own, check out KALDesign's Petticoat Page (Fast & Easy Petticoat).

DRESS: Before starting to try on wedding gowns, you may want to visit a dry cleaners. Ask them what to watch out for in poorly-made gowns; they may even be able to show you some wedding gowns that were waiting to be cleaned. They could then explain the differences between a custom-made, a poorly-made, and a good-quality dress, side by side!

You don't have to buy a dress full price. You can find one you want on sale. Look in newspapers for Going Out of Business Sales for the best deals.

Have someone in the back of the church (such as the Mistress of Ceremonies) fluff your train (as you turn to enter sanctuary) so that it looks nice as you go down the aisle.
To get a quote on a dress you've seen in a magazine or store, you can send email to the Internet Bridal Gown Ordering Center for dress quotes. Or visit Bridal Gown Search to view gowns or get info on style number, prices, fabric, etc. Bridal Mag lets you view bridal gowns as well.

If you are making your wedding dress, check out KALDesign's Fabric Page (definitions/descriptions of fabrics/laces used in bridal wear), Beading Page (Embellishing with Beads), or Custom Made (page for info on having your gown custom made). Or buy a copy of Singer's book Sewing for Special Occasions. For a list of wedding gown/bridesmaid dress patterns, visit Dorothea M. Rovner's (dmrovner@students.wisc.edu) Pattern Numbers for Wedding Garments.

One idea to put your wedding dress on again after your wedding day is to try it on each anniversary and spend a special evening at home with your husband. Or try it on for the kids and give a "fashion show" with both parents telling about the wedding. This could be a wonderful tradition!

GLOVES: If you decide to wear gloves with your wedding dress, slit the ring finger of the glove at the seam so you can pull it back and out of the way for the ring. You can wear the gloves throughout the reception if you want, except while eating. After the wedding, the glove can easily be resewn.

IVORY DRESSES: If you decide to or are thinking of wearing an ivory/off-white wedding dress, don't despair! Many first-time brides wear ivory or off-white dresses (the tradition of pure-white dresses is waning). However, you may wonder how this choice effects other decisions pertaining to your wedding day:

How will my ivory dress affect flower selection?
- A bouquet with a lot of color is a good idea or ...
- The traditional white or creamy roses also work (such as calla lilies and oceania roses)
- Ivory lace looks nice interspersed in the bouquets
- Groomsmen and groom should have an off-white boutineer or off-white roses
Are there considerations for the caterer and baker with an ivory dress?
- It's a good idea to get a swatch of the wedding dress and carry it with you to the caterer, baker, florist, etc
- Caterer: ask for off-white linens (if you're really into matching)
- Baker: get off-white icing for the cake such as buttercream (in gen'l, most icing is off-white rather than white anyways) (if you're really into matching)
Do the groom and groomsmen all have to wear ivory shirts with their tuxedos if I wear ivory?
- Not necessarily. Unless your dress is a very deep antique ivory color, white tux shirts should still look okay with your dress. If you're worried, carry a swatch of the wedding dress to a tux shop and decide for yourself.
What sort of shoes can I wear?
- JcPenney has ivory flats in their bridal catalog for $20
- Low-heeled Easy Spirit pumps come in a winter white (great if your dress is candlelight ivory)
- Ballet slippers come in white for $15 - $25. If your dress is off-white, you can pick up off-white lace and glue/sew it over the white shoe or dye them (they dye nicely). If your dress is a real light ivory and floor-length, the color difference really isn't obvious to warrant dyeing them (especially since they'll rarely show if your dress is floor length).
- Traditional Dyeables in a variety of styles/heights can be dyed to match your dress

GOING AWAY DRESS: At one time, it was customary for the bride and groom to leave the reception for the honeymoon right away. The bride would change into her traveling clothes, and leave her dress with her mother to get later. Since many couples wait till later in the day or possibly the next day to leave for the honeymoon, many brides don't bother going through the trouble to change into another outfit. Plus, I'm sure the groom would love to whisk away the bride in her wedding gown!

GOWN PRESERVATION: The proper way to preserve your wedding gown is a highly confusing topic unfortunately. It seems that most everyone agrees that you should at least have your dress dry-cleaned after the wedding. Make sure you take your gown to a reputable place that specializes in cleaning wedding dresses (or a least frequently cleans them). Here are some facts about preserving your gown:

Make sure the dress is placed in an acid-free cardboard box without any plastic. Plastic emits minute toxic fumes over time which can deteriorate your dress.
Wrap the dress in acid-free paper, and line all folds in the dress with this tissue paper to minimize wrinkling.
Cardboard boxes cannot be vacuum-packed despite what some cleaners may say. In fact, you want the fabric to breathe. This is important because molds and mildews are everywhere and thus on your dress too, even after cleaning. You don't want to trap them with your dress where they would multiply and grow. Cardboard breathes and thus air is not completely trapped inside the box.
Good cleaners will offer to dry clean the dress free of charge whenever you want to remove the dress from the box.
Always inspect the dress before they place it in the box to insure that you are pleased with the cleaning/preservation and to insure that it is your dress.
Store the dress in a dark, dry place such as a closet or under the bed. All light (especially UV light from the sun and fluorescent lights) causes damage over time to fabrics. There should be no wide temperature or humidity swings, so storage in attics or basements is not recommended.
Do not hang your dress in a closet. This will distort the shape of the dress over long periods of time.
If you don't want to pay the big bucks to preserve your dress at the cleaners or feel uncomfortable with the store's description of the process, preserve it yourself! Buy acid-free paper and an acid-free box at a specialty paper store. To find sources for these items, call a nearby historical society or museum that deals with textile preservation. Some sources I know about are: Conservation Materials, Ltd. 1-800-733-5283, Light Impressions 1-800-828-6216, University Products 1-800-628-1912, and Textile Conservation Group, c/o Tapestry Conservation, St. John the Divine, 1047 Amsterdam Ave., New York, NY 10025.

For more tips on how to preserve your wedding dress, visit the Upper Midwest Conservation Association's newsletter, or contact your state's Department of Archives/History or a local museum which features a textile collection. (the Textile Museum Conservation Department is DC is located at 2320 S Street, NW, Washington, DC 20008). You can also read the Dress Preservation FAQ written by Josie Morgan.

SHOES: Think comfort!! More variety in style can be found in the traditional shoes such as those by Dyeables, although they are often not the most comfortable. If you want to wear flats or ballet slippers on your wedding day, here are some suggestions/ideas:

Spruce up any plain flats with shoe clip-ons!
Ballet slippers are $10 - $25; you can dress them up with shoe clip-ons or decorate them yourself
Isotoner makes satin slippers with beadwork already sewn on for about $25
Low-heeled Easy Spirit shoes seem to rank high on the comfort list too!

UNDERGARMENTS: Make sure you wear your intimate apparel to all your wedding gown fittings, since they will affect fit. And be sure your lingerie fits properly so that you are comfortable on your wedding day. Here are a few tips:

Buy a garter belt that is ADJUSTABLE in the waist -- not one size fits all. They can come in small, medium and large. Do not get one with a snap -- get a hook (usually there are two hooks). Make sure the straps are adjustable as well -- you do not want the garters falling to your knees.
For thigh-hi's/stockings: Elastic thigh-hi's have two major drawbacks. First, if the elastic is too thick the hook might keep coming undone. Second, if you get elastic it cuts into your thighs and can be both uncomfortable and not look as smooth-looking. I'd suggest buying the lace top or plain top thigh-hi's with no elastic instead. Note that if you plan to do a lot of dancing, thigh-hi's might not be the best choice (i.e. they may tend to fall down). If this is the case, you might want to experiment wearing them in advance of the wedding to determine if thigh-hi's are right for you on your wedding day.
If you are planning to wear a garter belt/stockings on the honeymoon night, put the garter belt and stockings on first and your undies on last. Once you do it, you'll see why!
There are several types of bras to wear on your wedding day. The most common choice is the long-line bra.Or choose a corsellette which is longer than a long-line bra. It comes down to just below the tops of the hips (rather than mid-stomach) and are much more comfortable than the long bra since your stomach doesn't bulge out from under the elastic. A torsolette, made famous by Madonna, has a zipper covering the hooks up the front and gives great support. These are snug fitting, not uncomfortable, and shape a bit below the waist as well. They tend to give better, smoother lines than long-line bras under snug-fitting basque-waist gowns. If these options don't suit you, the best idea I've heard so far is sew-on cups! Have your dress shop put them in when they do the alterations and forego the uncomfortable strapless bras!

VEILS: Veils come in many forms: headband, barrette, comb, hats, etc. You can have a veil either with or without the blusher (the part which is worn in front over the eyes at the beginning of the wedding ceremony). Some veils even look good both ways (with the blusher in front or in back). Not everyone wears a blusher these days -- it's up to you! For some hints on choosing a bridal veil, check out the information from Kristen Letourneau's DesignsByK page. To save money, find a veil you like and see if you or a friend can make it. They can usually be made for $20-$50. And if your veil has a piece that hangs over your face, make sure the back and front pieces come together to make a complete circle around your shoulders.

Attire for the Groom

The groom should try to coordinate his tuxedo with the colors the bride is wearing, and to some degree to what the bridesmaids are wearing. This is NOT to say he has to pick his colors after the bride and bridesmaid colors have been chosen. Obvious clashing should be avoided, and this is generally quite simple to accomplish. (i.e. if the bride wants to wear an ivory dress and the groom wants to wear an all-white tuxedo, they should discuss it first). The most typical colors are all black and white or all gray and white. In addition to color, there are all sorts of "rules," grooms, on what style tuxedo you should wear depending on the time of day and formality of the wedding. In general, select the tux you love, not what etiquette says. It doesn't matter these days. For example, if you get married in the morning you're supposed to wear a morning suit which many grooms dislike (ask the tux shop what this looks like). In addition, you're not supposed to wear tails unless it's very formal and in the evening. If you want tails and you're getting married at 11 am it's okay to wear tails. Whatever you choose, it's important you're happy with it and the bride will think you look incredible regardless! Reserve all formalwear for the men early, especially if it is during Prom season for example -- 3 months in advance should suffice. It is also imperative that the groom and groomsmen pick-up their outfits early the day before the wedding and try them on in the shop to be sure that the fit is OK (check sleeve and trouser lengths). Also ensure that the formalwear is of recent vintage -- some shops might try to use older stock that has outlived its usefulness.